(In tribute to Poe's "The Raven," my thoughts on McCain's VP selection...)
Once upon a convention night dreary, while I watched TV news punditry weak and weary,
Switching between CNN, MSNBC and channels 2, 7 and 4,
As John King did electoral vote mapping, suddenly there came a tapping
As of someone violently sapping, sapping up all McCain’s credibility and kicking his chances out the door.
“Tis a swerve for Romney or Pawlenty," thought I—but soon my jaw was on the floor
As before I knew it there I was watching her basically say “I am woman, hear me roar!”
Ah, I haven’t the foggiest why he would do this at the end of August,
When Gallup Daily Polling has shown him somewhat closer to Obama than before.
But to Dayton had flown that plane from Alaska, and, seriously, let me ask ya:
What were the chances it wasn’t Sarah Palin since the plane stopped in Arizona the night before?
I was intrigued, as the announcement of Romney or Pawlenty would have been a major snore
But now this moment will live on in history for evermore.
With the Republican crowd all in a rage, up she bounded onto the stage,
And spoke did she with all the charisma of a hung over Al Gore.
The obligatory Hillary obeisance made she, (her previous classification of Hillary as a whiner did not say she)
In an attempt to appeal to women who’s IQ is negative sixty-four.
Having a woman on the ticket is great but American women must want more
Like a president who believes in women's rights and will finally say “enough!” when it comes to the Iraqi war.
Even if it takes a while, people will realize McCain missed the mark on this pick by a mile
As even Bill Kristol will soon see it takes more than being “hyper-American” and having a friendly rapport.
Maybe Mac could have made history in the U.S.A. had he picked the Senator from Texas or the CEO from E-bay
And not a woman who is being investigated for ethic violations that the voters won’t ignore.
Also, she advocates no gun control and teaching intelligent design which only appeals to the Conservative hardcore,
And, let’s face it, George W. Bush pretty much burnt down that store.
Women won’t simply vote for one of their own with the kind of beliefs that she condones
And the irony of electing a woman being backwards progress for women’s rights is something the satirists should explore.
Americans eat beef, not moose, and the fact Hillary would actually be good for the job is what gave juice
To those 18 million voters who begat a movement that will take its rightful place amongst political lore.
But trying to get women to vote for a ticket that is pro-life and anti-equal pay all the way down to its core?
Most women would say “Nevermore.”
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